I think this is potentially going to be one of the hardest posts I have written so far. Every woman (and man) has regular struggle with their insecurities, but that shouldn't be the case. In today's post I am going to write about my weight story and how I feel I've overcome those dark feelings about my body.
When I was a lot younger, I was (not to blow my own trumpet) a pretty decent swimmer. I swam 8 times a week for a local club and my school and I loved the sport. When I was about 13/14 it became too much to do alongside my school work and I decided it was time to hang up the swim hat and goggles and focus on my education. This didn't really seem as hard as I thought it would be, but because before I could eat whatever the hell I wanted (and I really did eat a LOT), I struggled with the adjustment of not having that amount of exercise in my life.
So I put on about 3 stone. And this 3 stone is yet to budge 5 years later. I wouldn't consider myself to be fat, but I definitely have some fat spots and a very very curvy figure. When all my friends were itty bitty and I had this curvy motherly body, it didn't seem fair. Why did they get to be skinny and whatever I tried wouldn't let be like that?
I became very negative about my body, which in the end saw me seeing a counsellor who said I had binge eating disorder. I knew that I had abnormal eating patterns - I wouldn't eat for a few days and then I'd secretly buy hundreds of crisps packets and chocolate and eat it all in one day. But I was definitely in denial about what I was doing to my body. A few months of counselling and my eating habits started to return to a more normal state.
Anyway, it's been over 2 years now since I was in counselling and I genuinely feel great about my body. Yes I'd love to lose a few pounds, who wouldn't! But I'm happy the way I am and I want everyone to be able to embrace that too! One of the best things I heard on the radio yesterday was Meghan Trainor taking her music video down because they'd airbrushed her to look skinnier than she is. She had it taken down because she is so confident with who she is and I think that's really inspirational.
So how do I become happy with my body?
First thing is first, it's a process. Happiness and confidence don't grow overnight, it takes time and a lot of positive thinking!
One of the things I picked up from many many hours of trying to find my confidence was this - every day, look in the mirror and list 3 things you love about your body, 2 things you like about your body, and 1 thing you wish you could change. This is kind of like a form of grounding, bringing your body into a realistic light but that portrays it in a more positive way. If you can't think of all of these at first, that's okay! As you watch your face and body more closely in these times, you'll start to notice things you really do like. For example, I used to hate my nose, but as I did this exercise every day, I started to see tiny freckles and a little bump at the end which I found cute - my confidence immediately grew.
Another thing, and a really important one is input from others. Yes our self worth should come from ourselves and not what others think of us, but surrounding yourself with the right kinds of people that will inspire you to love your body and yourself has a big part to play. My two best friends are nothing but supportive! We could potentially compliment each other and support each other till we're blue in the face and that made a huge difference to my confidence.
Ditch the stupid boyfriends! We have all had that boyfriend that no matter what you do they'll say mean comments about your weight and then suggest it's "banter". This is not a drill, I repeat this is not a drill! Dump his sorry ass. He doesn't deserve you and you should never be made to feel bad about your body from someone who supposedly loves you!
Getting rid of toxic people from your life will be amazing for your confidence with anything, not just your appearance!
I hope you found this inspirational! It's really difficult to explain how to rid yourself of toxins and feel better, it's almost a process that is personal and different for everyone. But those were the two ways I felt better about my body and now I walk around on top of the world. Good luck in your quest for happiness. Libs xo
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